Protein Bars – No-Bake and Baked versions


Per bar with raisins & goji berries, no chocolate: 154 calories // 13g carbs // 7g fat // 11g protein // 3g fiber // 4g sugar
Per bar with raisins & goji berries, chocolate covered: 180 calories // 16g carbs // 9g fat // 11g protein // 5g fiber // 4g sugar
Add ons: add 10-15 calories, 1g carbs, 1-2g fat, 0-1g protein or so, depending on what you’re using

You know what I like? Protein bars.

You know what are too expensive to buy regularly? Ponies.

And protein bars.

Four or so hours after making these, I was sitting at a nail salon getting my nails did and discovered more than a little bit of chocolate all over me.
Normal.

Seeing as I can’t make my own ponies (I don’t want to talk about it) I’m going to make my own protein bars (I’m going to want to talk about it).

The Leaning Tower of Going-Into-My-Mouth-Soon.

This is a fun recipe because it’s super sticky and tasty and peanut buttery and sticky. I love sticky things! said no one ever! Just kidding though. I really do love this sticky creation and sticky things in general. (Gum! I like gum!)

I call this one “Almonds, Coconut, and Chocolate: A Retrospective.”
Time Out New York called it “a playful romp” and “food.”

Making protein bars involves my favorite kind of Whole Foods Adventure (WFA): The Bulk Aisle Expedition. The bulk aisle is my favorite aisle. I know, I know, the pet food/baby food/yogurt/all natural dish detergent aisle is full of exciting twists and turns (pureed organic carrots and peas for Junior AND Mr Pugsly’s Peanut Butter Dog Treats for your jackass dog side by side? Finally!) but hear me out. Instead of buying an $8 bag of almonds, I can get all the sprouted almonds I actually need (I need sprouted almonds) and have any intention of using for about $1. Or 75 cents worth of shaved coconut. 90 cents worth of raisins? I’ll take it. I love it. I love it so hard.

Yup. That right there’s about a nickel’s worth of sliced almonds and about three pennies deep in coconut shreds.
So I’ll be charging $3.50 extra for them.
BECAUSE THE ECONOMY AND OUTSOURCING OVERSEAS.

So this recipe includes my personal bulk aisle finds but it’s open to your own bulk aisle interpretation. Just try to stick to the lower carb fellas and add a good protein or two or three.

Au Natural and Chocolate Covered.
Coincidentally also mine and my dog’s stage names, respectively.

Plus Lily’s Dark Chocolate Sweetened with Stevia is not only an awesome idea, it tastes just like normal dark chocolate. But smoother. And better for you. And all things good. So it makes a great chocolate topping for these bars. Thanks Whole Foods! Take all my moneys!

Remember that Simpsons where Homer eats donuts off a conveyer belt?
Life imitating art imitating The Simpsons.

If you’re not into no-bake bars, have no fear. You can bake these and still end up with a tasty treat, albeit a different tasting one. The baked bars have more of a banana taste while the no-bake version is definitely more peanut butter heavy. It’s all about what you’re craving in a bar.

Baked and proud of it.
(I absolutely have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.)

They are just so, so, so good raw.

NO-BAKE PROTEIN BARS
makes about 8 good sized bars
inspired by the Union Square Whole Foods Bulk Aisle

Ingredients:

Optional add-ins and toppings:

  • sliced almonds
  • shaved coconut
  • unsweetened shredded coconut

I hope you’re ready for a workout or at least a forearm experience:

FOR BOTH BAKED AND NO-BAKE VERSIONS

In a large bowl, whisk together your protein powder, salt, and flax powder. Add the peanut butter and start mixing and mashing. Add the coconut oil and stir. Getting sticky, yeah? We’re just getting started.

Add the mashed banana and stir it together some more. Stir in the oats. Stir harder. This is a workout. Earn those No-Bake Protein Bars! Man, you’re toned. Way to go.

Add the almonds. Stir! Add-in the raisins and goji berries or whatever you chose to add in. Stir! This is harder to stir than that cocktail you’ve been nursing since you were 3 drinks past your limit and you don’t know what to do with your hands other than hold the straw and try to stir your drink nonchalantly because you are not at all drunk, no way, not you. WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE.

Spray a baking dish with baking spray and lay down some parchment paper so that it covers the whole bottom and about 1/4″ up each side. Mash down your mixture evenly into the parchment papered dish.

NO-BAKE BARS continue here: Cover and put in your freezer. Take out after an hour or overnight or whatever and cut into even bars. If you’re coating with chocolate, melt your chocolate either in a double boiler or carefully in a microwave. Spread on top of your bars. Top your bars with whatever your heart desires. May I suggest shredded coconut and/or slivered almonds and/or love?

Store in the freezer. Or just eat them all.

BAKED BARS skip to here: If you’re so inclined, bake these suckers in the parchment paper lined baking dish at 350 for about 18-20 minutes. Let cool. Cut into even bars. Cover with your chocolate and toppings. Freeze overnight. This is crucial for baked bar goodness. Enjoy!

Put them in the oven for a more banana-y adventure in yum!
Also start incorporating the words “banana-y adventure” into your daily vernacular.

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26 comments

  1. SunnyKat · · Reply

    So I am wondering. Wouldn’t it be possible to top them with the dark chocolate first before freezing to make it easier? Then cutting after they are frozen? Or does that mess up the texture/form/taste of the chocolate? Thank you so much for the link to the sweetened dark, I can’t wait to try it!

    1. I feel like the chocolate would crack a lot when you cut the bars if you did that way maybe? Dressing the bars in chocolate when they are properly chilled seemed to make the chocolate harden a little fast and the mess less horrible. I like both of those things!

      And yes, the Lily’s chocolate is delicious!

  2. Nice!

  3. Colleen · · Reply

    Can these be made without coconut oil? It is *so* expensive.

    1. Of course! I only used half a tablespoon. Throw some more pb in there instead or just completely omit it – it’s such a minute ingredient.

    2. Colleen- Do you have a Trader Joe’s where you live? If so, their coconut oil is very inexpensive!
      : )

  4. I came across your site from Pinterest as I was searching for homemade protein bars. Not only do I love your receipt but I love your sense of humor!! Thank for making me laugh out loud and for putting a smile on my face. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!! And thanks again.

  5. TSKimberly · · Reply

    Can you convert the grams into cups please? I know it is a different amount depending on the substance but I have no idea what the ratio is. Thank you!!!

    1. Ummm I think it was half a cup of protein powder? And maybe a couple bananas. I think those are the only instance of grams. Consider getting a food scale, they’re cheap and wonderfully helpful as eyeballed cup measurements vary all the time.

  6. Tiffany · · Reply

    can this be done without bananas?

  7. Oh man, the Union Square Whole Foods. I am afraid to go in there. I go into a trance and come out with no moneys.

    Also, I just came across your blog today and I think it is awesome.

  8. […] Homemade No Bake Protein Bars – For those bar-lovers out there! […]

  9. I stumbled upon your site looking for no bake protein bars and have the bars in my freezer as I type. I love your humor and just purchased a food scale, so I got to put it to good use.

  10. I just found your blog on Pinterest. These look awesome!! Not to mention your post is cracking me up: double win :)

  11. Excellent post! One question though, I am looking forward to taking these bars so I can eat one as a snack in between meals…that said, won’t they (the no-bake kind) go back to a “mushy, dough-like” consistency after being in my lunch bag for a couple of hours? If so, is there any way to prevent this??

    Thank you so much!

    1. I’m afraid they are going to lose their form no matter what if kept out of the freezer for a long time. I think the only way to prevent that would be to keep them in a little cooler but that does sort of take away the whole convenient aspect.

  12. caroline · · Reply

    what can I use instead of flaxseed?

    1. Try chia seeds. Just curious, why no flaxseed?

  13. carolyne · · Reply

    Do the baked ones also have to remain in the freezer or refrigerator?

    1. I put everything in the fridge because I never get around to eating it before the elements ruin it.

      I also blame food going bad on “the elements.”

  14. Do we know the nutritional info for these?

  15. Oops…I just noticed it’s there!

  16. […] Homemade Protein Bars. Protein bars we can make ourselves? Yes please! Quiche A Week shows us a variety of bake and no bake bars which will save you money on store bought ones. […]

  17. […] Homemade Protein Bars. Protein bars we can make ourselves? Yes please! Quiche A Week shows us a variety of bake and no bake bars which will save you money on store bought ones. […]

  18. These photos should be considered illegal. Yum!

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