Monthly Archives: May 2013

[totally] Vegan [not exactly] Macaroni & [not really] Cheese

Do you ever go “off the grid”? I’m not talking about that time you thought you couldn’t find your phone but it turned out it was because you were talking on it. No. Going “off the grid” involves existing and going about your life without your cell phone, your iPad, any form of email access […]

The Easiest No-Bake Bars and/or Balls

“Hey guys, I made you all some balls. Put them all in your mouth. Get a mouthful of my balls. They’re salty. My balls. My balls are salty. And they are all in your mouth. You are balls deep in my balls. It’s funny because it’s like we’re talking about testicles. I hope you enjoy […]

Baby Bella Pizza Bites

There are two types of people in the world: those whose mothers bought Bagel Bites and those whose mothers were never meant to bear children. Let’s be real. When you were growing up you were either suffering from moderate to severe burns on the roof of your mouth or you were one of those kids […]

Vegan Red Beans and [Cauliflower] Rice

You know that song by Usher called Confessions? Yeah, me neither. So I googled it – turns out there is not just one set of Usher-ed confessions, but two. Which is weird because I’m pretty sure the only thing Usher has ever done that’s worth of confessing is being the smuggest little bitch on earth […]

Gwyneth Paltrow-ized Baked Power Oatmeal PB+J Squares

I am not reading Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook. I am not reading Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook. I am not reading Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook. (I am reading Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook. Fuck. And I totally love it. Double fuck.) I blame New York Magazine. And society. And buckwheat. And her delicate prose that I can’t help but read aloud […]

Back to My Roots Vegetable Quiche: a one-year bloggerversary

So it’s been a year. No but really. It’s been a motherfucking year. Amiright??! You don’t have to agree with me but I’ve never cared much for your opinion anyways and yes I’m going to keep wearing those shoes you know which ones I’m talking about so just can it already. Whew. click here to […]

Coconut White Russian Ice Cream [vegan] + Tropical Fruit Margaritas

On Friday, May 3rd, 2013, I went from having zero alcohol in my apartment at all ever to $100 poorer in various liquors and liqueurs despite only looking for tequila.  What I’m trying to say is I go big or go home and then I go home and go big and by “big” I mean […]

Peanut Butter & Jelly & Sriracha Chocolate Chip Cookies [vegan]

So there’s this bar by my apartment called South. It’s right next to another bar and a block away from another bar and two blocks to the right of another 4 other bars and 3 blocks to the left of 2 more bars and it’s not the bar I live above. Do you see what […]



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