[Raw] [Vegan] Cucumber Veggie Rolls

per roll: seriously? you can eat these like candy and still not have enough to constitute nutrition facts.
Also? Eat them like candy, please.

What’s the easiest, almost-looks-fancy, toothpick related finger food you can make that doesn’t include pigs and blankets and pigs inside of said blankets?

In the process of opening the jar of crispy pickled asparagus spears, I got crispy pickled asparagus spears pickling juice all over myself.
It did not go to waste. Trust me.

Vegan Cucumber Veggie Rolls. Raw ones.

I wonder what other things cauliflower could masquerade as.
Couscous? Risotto? A pony?

Or with cauliflower rice. Maybe.

I knew the 500 toothpicks I bought a few months ago would come in handy one day.
I’m sure the 480 remaining toothpicks will just use themselves.

Damn girl, you look almost fancy.

Also, ever since going full-blown vegetarian, I’ve learned to embrace vegetarian sushi. And maybe you’ve noticed but you probably haven’t noticed, avocado and peanut roll is a real thing. A real, real good thing. So clearly that’s going to be happening here.

Well, peanuts and avocado is a legit vegetarian sushi roll.
Peanut butter and avocado is like, mostly legit. I mean Molly Legit.

Cauliflower rice makes these kinda extra silly and fun to eat (and not raw) but it’s definitely not a requirement. The only requirement is that you have to prick them with toothpicks like a surgeon. That’s all.

At this point, it occurred to me that I was indeed having a love affair with these cucumber rolls.

Use whatever veggie combinations you’re craving. I found these pickled asparagus spears at the grocery store (I say “grocery store” because I’m pretending I found some neighborhood gem instead of a Whole Foods in Manhattan) and they reminded me of all the pickled and marinated goodies in my favorite veggie sushi rolls.

It’s like it’s staring directly into your soul, ya know?

Raw Vegan Cucumber Veggie Rolls

Ingredients:

• one cucumber, thinly sliced with either a mandoline or a vegetable peeler
• the following things are good starting point fillers when cut into adorable matchsticks: carrots, cucumber, avocado, pickled asparagus spears or green beans, marinated mushrooms, bell peppers
• other things that could be delightful stuffed in there: peanut butter, cream cheese (vegan cream cheese if you want it that way), spicy sriracha veganaise, lettuce
• some cauliflower florets if you want some good ol’ fake rice
• toothpicks

This could honestly not be any easier:

If you want cauliflower rice for some not-raw vegan cucumber veggie rolls, stick your cauliflower florets in a food processor. Pulse until it’s about the consistency of rice. Put in a microwave-safe bowl, cover, and microwave for 5 minutes. Fluff that shit.

Lay out a strip of cucumber on your cutting board or whatever. If you want “rice,” pat some down on the cucumber strip, packing it ever so slightly and keeping a fair margin along the edges for spreading. If you want to keep the roll raw and “rice”less, disregard all of that nonsense you just read. Procede.

On the left end of the strip of cucumber, lay your filling in a little stack or whatnot. Roll from left to right, keeping it as tight as you can. Stab with a toothpick. Put on a platter. Feel fancy. Eat.

nothing says fancy quite like a raw vegan cucumber veggie roll parading around as a miniature bag of golf clubs.
Snoo. Tee.

Tags: appetizer, asian, avocado, carrot, cauliflower rice, cucumber, diet, easy, finger food, food, gluten-free, health food, healthy, hor d'oeuvres, low calorie, low carb, nutrition, party food, peanut butter, pickled asparagus, raw, servings, skinny, snack, sushi, uncooked, vegan, vegetables, vegetarian