Tag Archives: almonds

Nutty Breakfast Bites

Sometimes I make something that tastes really good and when I sit down to write about it I just draw a blank. Usually when that happens, I might go off on some tangent about how drawing a blank is not a thing one can actually do and then I’d probably find a way to work in a sexual […]

Sweet & Spicy Nutty Crack Bites

Lots of products claim to be some version of crack. Crack ice cream. Crack pie. Crack matzo. Crack. There are so many things I love about this. Mostly I think it’s fabulous that we consumers – without question – will flock towards crack that is (typically) not crack. It’s like candy cigarettes when you’re 10. […]

Amazing Meal No-Bake Protein Bars

Listen, I’m not going to beat around the protein powder bush here. I’m not one to beat, punch, strangle, or assault any bushes (I think I’m missing the point of the word “beat” in this context? Or I’m just anti-plant violence? Probably?). So here’s the straight up warm handshake directly to the bush (nope, I definitely […]

The Easiest No-Bake Bars and/or Balls

“Hey guys, I made you all some balls. Put them all in your mouth. Get a mouthful of my balls. They’re salty. My balls. My balls are salty. And they are all in your mouth. You are balls deep in my balls. It’s funny because it’s like we’re talking about testicles. I hope you enjoy […]

Vegan Raw Crunch Bars

I need to tell you a secret. Don’t worry, I’m not pregnant/harboring any (serious) psychiatric problems/a combination of both. But really, is there any other way to be pregnant? Exactly. skip my secret and go to the recipe because, whatever, you’ve never liked me much anyways… Moving on. No. It’s even worse…I’m an absolute snob […]

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