I like my cookies like a like my men: a little spicy, brunette, chock full of maple syrup undertones, well-established, successful, intelligent, hilarious, and unopposed to oatmeal. If my cookie doesn’t have a PhD, I’m all like, “WHERE’S YOUR PHD, COOKIE? HUH? THE FUCK.” And then I eat the cookie. To prove a point/eat a cookie.
These cookies may not be able to answer my medical queries, but they do pull their weight in the other categories. I’ve considered rephrasing my questions in the form of an answer but I never said these cookies had to be into any reverse Jeopardy bullshit.
Not let’s Talk Texture™. While I love looking deep into something’s eyes before snapping its head off and eating it, I’ve never loved the texture or consistency of Gingerbread Men cookies. It’s as if they come out of the oven already stale. It’s not even worth the satisfaction of breaking its limbs off, one by one. Gingerbread is tasty but it’s also a sticky mess. Gingerbread is just asking to get stuck in my hair and forgotten about until I find it still stuck in my hair a day later.
Enter The Oatmeal Gingerbread Cookie: combining the best of both Gingerbread and Man Cookie worlds. And such advanced worlds they are! These cookies are less sticky than their bread forefathers, yet not awful tasting like the men before them. Win/win. The oatmeal takes care of the I-Just-Found-Some-In-My-Ponytail bread woes while also addressing the Seriously-This-Has-To-Be-Stale issue of cookie yesteryear.
These cookies are based on Love & Lemon’s Pistachio Cranberry Cookies with my own gingerbread twist. A cruel choice of words, however, seeing as a limbless Gingerbread Man could only ever dream of doing a provocative dance such as the Twist.
OATMEAL GINGERBREAD COOKIES
makes 18 cookies
- 1 cup millet flour
- ¼ cup almond meal
- ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon baking powder
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- ¼ teaspoon ground ginger
- ¼ teaspoon ground cloves
- ¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
- ¼ cup powder peanut butter
- 2 tablespoons natural (re: oily) peanut butter
- ¼ cup molasses
- ¼ cup + 2 tablespoons maple syrup
- 1 tablespoon ground flax (whisked with 3 tablespoons water and refrigerated 15 minutes or so)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 ½ cups rolled oats
- a splash of almond milk (optional)
come on baby, let’s do the gingerbread twist…
Set the oven to 375. Line a cooking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.
Combine the flour, almond meal, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt and spices in a medium bowl. Whisk them until the almond meal has broken up and all the elements are fully combined. Set aside.
In a mixing bowl, whisk the powdered peanut butter with 3ish tablespoons of water. Add in the real peanut butter and mix to fully combined. Add in the molasses and maple syrup and whisk til smooth. Whisk in the refrigerated flax/water mixture. Whisk in the vanilla extract. Now add in the rolled oats and keep on mixing til it’s all mixed in.
Add the dry mixture to your wet mixture. Add a splash of milk if you find it’s too dry. No big deal if you think it’s perfect just the way it is and each of us is special in our own unique and beautiful way.
Form into balls a little bigger than a tablespoon. Arrange them on the baking sheet. You can use a drinking glass to flatten them if you want flatter round cookies. Just dip the bottom of the drinking glass in warm water and press it into the cookie. If you want something more mound shape, mosey on past this step.
Bake for 12 or so minutes. Remove from oven and cool on wire racks. Get your spice on.