The air is crisper, oversized sweaters swallow undersized girls once again, Lululemon stock soars as the temperature dips into give-no-fucks daytime fashion territory. Everyone is perpetually on their way to the gym. And as well the should be. It’s fall and the only better than indoor/outdoor slippers is the abundance of aromatic freshly baked breads.
Next to finding where I stashed my cache of sweaters (in a drawer!), the smell of spiced baked goods is one of my favorite autumnal treats. (I wanted to say “autumn” instead of “fall” earlier but I was afraid everyone would discover that I’m kind of a pretentious douche and I wanted it to be a surprise. Surprise!) The presence of some sort of batter in my hair is not an uncommon sight this time of year. “That girl’s got it together,” strangers say at the sight of molasses under my nails.
Speaking of being emotionally stable (wait, what?), autumn is also prime
hubband husband nabbing season. For one thing, sweaters hide a multitude of sins. And if Day After Tomorrow taught us anything it’s that people like to press their bodies together for warmth when they’re out of books to burn. But really it all comes down to one thing…nothing says “make me your wife or at least the girl on the side whom you shower with gifts to keep quiet for the sake of the children” like fresh baked goods. Nothing.
Which leads me, eventually, one day, god help me, to this recipe. Finally. Gingerbread muffins with Pumpkin Cream. Aka a worthwhile reason to take your Lululemon clad ass to the gym. You were on your way anyways, right? Of course you were, Every Girl Ever.
But don’t fret – you won’t have to work very hard when you get there. Slow down on that treadmill, girl! The rich moistness of this gingerbread just a delicious front! The recipe has been lightened, vegan-ed, and amazing-ed with the help of light margarine, applesauce, and apple cider vinegar. And the pumpkin cream adds another seasonal flavor that’s as good as it is pretty atop the dark muffins. So feel free to gobble these down in front of the man of your dreams. In fact I insist. Everyone knows if you want that husband, you better act like thinness is just in your genes or like you’re a wizard. I can’t fake it as a WASP but I’ve got sorcery down pat.
VEGAN GINGERBREAD MUFFINS with PUMPKIN CREAM
makes 2½ dozen mini muffins, or so. I think. Or 14-16 normal sized muffins. Probably.
adapted from this AllRecipes.com recipe
- ½ cup millet flour
- ½ cup oat flour
- ¼ cup buckwheat flour (ok this hodgepodge flour mixture was initially due to dwindling supplies but I’m really happy with how it worked out)
- 1½ teaspoons baking soda
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon ground ginger
- ½ teaspoon ground cloves
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- ½ cup light margarine
- ¼ cup pure cane sugar like my dearest Zulka sugar (I’ve my way back into the world of real sugar. Feels good, man. Feels good.)
- ½ cup of molasses
- 2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
- 4 ounces unsweetened applesauce
- 4 ounces almond or soy or whatever milk
- ½ cup pumpkin puree
- 2 tablespoons light margarine at room temperature
- 2 teaspoons sugar
- 2 teaspoons maple syrup
- ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
- ¼ teaspoon nutmeg
- dash of salt
Preheat your oven to 350. Line your mini cupcake baking pan with mini cupcake wrappers. Set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together your flours, baking soda, cinnamon, ground ginger, ground cloves, and salt.
In a mixer, cream the margarine and the sugar. Add the molasses, vinegar, and applesauce. Mix in the milk.
Pour the wet mixture onto the dry mixture and lightly fold them into each other by hand. Mix just until everything is fully incorporated, not too hard or too much.
Fill each cupcake pod about ⅔ the way full. Bake for about 12 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the center of one comes out dry.
To make the cream, throw all the ingredients into a food processor and puree. Top each muffin with a dollop of cream. Win some hearts.
per mini muffin: 47 calories // 11g carbs // 1g fat // 1g protein // 1g fiber // 2g sugar
pumpkin cream topping per muffin (estimate based on 36 or so servings): 7 calories // 1g carbs // 0g fat // 0g protein // 0 gram fiber // 0g sugar