Have you ever had a really great idea in an unusual place? The bathroom? School? The bathroom at school? It feels pretty great, right? It’s like you’re striking gold on an expedition to some weird, never explored land. You haven’t found intelligent life forms yet but by God you have a fantastic plan for next weekend (social interactions!) and your next hair color (ombré!). Sure, there’s nothing to harvest here but you interpreted the fuck out of the dream you just remembered you had last week (you’ve been repressing your childhood!) and it definitely justifies that thing you did to that guy (oops!) and maybe even what you did to his cat too (I don’t want to talk about it!)
I typically have these aha moments at work. It’s so weird because usually I’m just so focused on telling women they look great and/or coloring line art all over catalogs with a Sharpie?. Where do I find the time, you know? I have enough wads of receipt paper scrawled with lists and notes and brilliance to plug a medium sized wound if need be. Hang out with me and you won’t bleed out, kid.
So it was just another day with the dreaded Final Two hours of work slowly creeping up and just another post-work grocery list in its early fruitions when I stumbled across Soyioli. Or as it appeared in between collard greens and avocado, “Soyioli!
I get a little excited sometimes. But rarely. And I cap it at “a little.” This is the dreaded Final Two, don’t forget
(I probably just blinked a few extra times.)
Anyways. Soyioli was my gateway idea to what is probably now my favorite finger-food recipe. It’s salty, garlicky, creamy, amazing…ly. By the time I had all my shit together the next day, my cooking undies on (full coverage!) and my day old makeup still on my face (you’re letting yourself go!), this thing basically just constructed itself. It was like magic. And I know I say this frequently but these little bite sized revelations are the shit. What a weird thing to say regularly.
This recipe has me craving a dinner party with my vegetarian lady friends. I also have a dinner table for the first time in 4 years. Everything’s coming up Molly! So let these little fuckers guide you down a path to vegan hor d’oeuvres. Just be careful. You might lose all self-control and eat them all yourself. Just call it a “dinner party for 1” or “Thursday night” and tell no one. I’m only slightly judging you.
PS this is some garlicky goodness. I hope your friends like you for your personality and good looks and not your breath.
- One carton of extra firm light tofu
- 1 teaspoon chili powder
- 2 teaspoons wasabi powder
- 2 teaspoons of maple syrup
- Some squeezes from a reoccurring lemon
- 1-2 tablespoons Avocado Cream
- 1 tablespoon Soyioli
- Some pickled ginger
- Cucumber slices
- sriracha
- One avocado
- 3-4 cloves of garlic
- 1 teaspoon grape seed or canola or whatever oil
- 1 teaspoon reduced sodium soy sauce (Gluten-free brand if necessary)
- 1 teaspoon lite seasoned rice vinegar
- Some squeezes of lemon
- ½” ginger root
- 3-4 cloves of garlic
- ¼ cup vegenaise
- 1 tablespoon reduced sodium soy sauce (Gluten-free brand if necessary)
- A couple squeezes of lemon
Quiche-a-Week 
When you say to “[d]ry the hell out of that sushi,” don’t you mean “[d]ry the hell out of that tofu”?
Your Editor
These look phenomenal, and such a good idea! I cannot wait to try, my mouth is already salivating!!!
These seem very tasty. Might even try making them, since they probably wouldn’t travel well if you shipped them.