Some of my favorite things are French.
French fries. French kissing. Pretentious dispositions. French toast.
But so many of those things are terrible for you. French fries make you fat. French kissing makes you pregnant. Pretentiousness makes you better than your friends and that really sucks for them but they just don’t “get it” like you “get it” and that’s their loss. And French toast makes you want more French toast.
I mean, have you ever had a piece of French toast, set your fork down, and noted passively, “Good day, sir. I believe I’ll be retiring for the evening now.” I don’t even use a fork to eat French toast, just my face and animalistic determination, so I stopped reading that sentence ages ago.
So it’s safe to say that it’s about time I wipe the syrup off my face with more syrup and make some elevated French toast. Because if I’m going to make something I can’t resist, I’m going to make it worth it. It’s going to be crazy, it’s going to sound like it could kill you on the spot, but it’s going to be surprisingly healthy. Or at least healthier than you’d expect. It’s going to be “okay” for you. Because my ounce of self-control was squeezed dry when I didn’t smack a screaming baby on the subway last night.
How do we even start, you ask?
I’M GLAD YOU ASKED.
Because this is part where shit gets real, Bad Boys style. i.e. we’re going to find our prostitute-with-a-heart-of-gold friend dead on top a shattered coffee table in a mansion.
But mostly we’re making our own toast.
And it isn’t toast.
Are you ready for this? Because this isn’t my first rodeo and despite that being completely nonsensical in this context, it really just means banana bread. That’s what rodeos are. And this is like my 4th or 5th so you can trust me.
Banana Bread French Toast, folks.
Everyone knows the only way to make perfection better is to combine it with another work of art to make an OHMYGOD hybrid. Don’t believe me? Just ask a mule. Horse and donkey, man. Nature’s prize. And you can heehaw that to the bank, my friends.
I always go off on mule tangents when I’m all hopped up on maple syrup and mashed bananas and good feelings. Let’s get to getting to it!
We’re going to make our “toast” with a wacky flour trio for a boost of protein with less carbs, sweeten it all with the natural goodness of bananas and a touch of maple syrup, and it’s of course going to be egg-less and dairy-less because I said so. According to google, an average slice of regular plain french toast with eggs and 2% milk has roughly the same nutritional breakdown as a slice of my banana bread french toast. And I’m taking this as a huge “W” on my side because anything involving banana bread in lieu of shitty stale bread at no added nutritional scorn is a motherfucking victory. HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND.
- ¾ cup (90g) buckwheat flour
- ¾ cup (90g) spelt flour
- ½ cup (56g) hemp protein powder
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- ¼ teaspoon nutmeg
- 3 very ripe bananas
- 2 tablespoons maple syrup
- ¼ cup vegan butter, melted
- ½ cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
- 2 tablespoons ground flax combined with 6 tablespoons water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
- 1 ounce coarsely chopped walnuts (or pecans)
- optional mix-ins: 15g-30g extra dark chocolate chips, tossed with a bit of flour / some raisins / chopped dates / whatevs
- optional crunchy topping: 2 tablespoons roasted groats or 2 tablespoons raw shelled hemp seeds
hemp protein powder is my favorite green powder next to all the other green powders I’ve never heard of or seen…
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. If you’re using a regular loaf pan, spray it with some cooking spray. If you’re using a silicone loaf pan, you’re just as smart and brilliant as I.
In a large bowl, whisk together your buckwheat flour, spelt flour, hemp protein powder, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg. Set aside.
In a medium bowl, mash up your very ripe bananas. Mix your melted vegan butter with your maple syrup and add to the bananas, mushing it all further. Add the flax/water mix and combine thoroughly. Add the milk and the vanilla extract. Mix it all up until it’s completely incorporated. Mix in the apple cider vinegar.
Fold the wet stuff into the dry stuff but don’t over mix it. Add in whatever mix-ins you want here. I added walnuts and chocolate chips but if you want to keep it lighter, nix the chocolate chips. If you want a crunchy topping, sprinkle on the groats or hemp seeds or if you’re real cray, a little bit of both. You’re so daring! is what I hear people say when you walk by looking like a visionaire.
Bake for 40-45 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the center comes out dry. Let it cool, release from the pan, cut into 16 slices or so, depending on your desired slice thickness.
recipe from Love and Lemons
- 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- a dash of salt
- additional vegan butter/maple syrup for serving
Whisk the milk, syrup, vanilla, cinnamon and salt together in a small bowl. Lay your banana bread slices in a bakin dish with sides. Pour the mixture on top of the slices, letting it all soak in.
In a large frying pan or skillet, heat up some cooking spray or coconut oil or vegan butter over medium high heat. Drop prepared banana slices in the pan and cook for a few minutes on both sides or until the sides are a deep brown (it doesn’t get golden because it doesn’t start so light so you’ll see what I mean when you cook it and will easily be able to tell when it’s ready to flip/serve). Dab with vegan butter and some more syrup. Eat!
taken from 1 slice with walnuts but no other add-ins and no crunch topping