Roasted Fennel Tapenade and Polenta Cucumber Bites


roasted fennel tapenade and polenta cucumber bites

A new year, a new finger food that doesn’t involve toast or crackers or bread. It’s like I took the words out of every single human being’s mouth. And so far, 2013 has been the year of the tapenade and finger foods. Why didn’t I eat tapenade in 2012? Was 2012 a bad year for tapenade? A bad vintage?

Well, just like I tell anyone I knew in high school, forgive and forget. And make a really good vegan finger food. I don’t always include that last part when atoning. But I may start.

This is a long one, folks. You can either be in it to win it or jump to the recipe and pretend that’s your new years resolution. You’re doing it!

getting into diptychs in a big way.I heard they're a gateway to triptychs.And that shit'll get you high/put three photos together.

getting into diptychs in a big way.
I heard they’re a gateway to triptychs.
And that shit’ll get you high/put three photos together.

All tapenades are not created equally. By this I mean that this tapenade is super jazzed up and ready to party. Example: peppadew peppers? Ready to party. Roasted fennel? Ready to party. Ground almonds? Likes a nice evening with a bottle of wine and some Netflix but for this tapenade it’s making an exception and it’s ready to party. Don’t let almonds down. They really wanted to watch Wall-E tonight with a lovely Merlot.

And when you put that tapenade on a slice of cucumber with a polenta cake, half a grape tomato and roasted yellow peppers, well then, my friend, then you have a gala.

I did this little photo shoot before going to work.The lingering garlic and olive breath made me a hit with the close-talkers.

I did this little photo shoot before going to work.
Breakfast was a weird time.

So you’ll forgive and forget this post, right? Ps I’m so sorry for high school.

Moving on.

when you work at a big department store, you can say, "Hey, I'm going upstairs to buy some trendy appetizer spoons," with only minimal looks.Mostly they jealous. Yo.

when you work at a big department store, you can say, “Hey, I’m going upstairs to buy some trendy appetizer spoons,” with only minimal looks.
Mostly they jealous. Yo.

A word about FENNEL TAPENADE and POLENTA CUCUMBER BITES…

Hey, are you interested in learning the definition of “a rude awakening”? Like the back-of-the-flashcard-study-group definition? Here it is: polenta is corn grits and I am dumb. Corn grit? Polenta is corn grit? Singular words that are also known by plural words are enough to blow my damn mind.

I feel like my whole life is a lie.Classic reaction to polenta.

I feel like my whole life is a lie.
Classic reaction to polenta.

Anyways, here’s the ish. I dislike grits so much that they almost make me mad. I make a point of frowning down upon grits. Grits are right up there with bigotry and falling down the stairs as shit I really fucking hate. They are straight up useless and weird and grainy.

But I love polenta. Always have. Even from ages 7-15 when I used to confuse the word with “placenta.” Not the same thing, btw. That was a weird time in my life.

I'm going to keep pretending polenta isn't corn grits just like I pretend to be a people person.(Not convincingly.)

I’m going to keep pretending polenta isn’t corn grits just like I pretend to be a people person.
(Not convincingly.)

So, I mean, fuck. Right? I know the textural aspect of corn grits and polenta cakes is physically different and it’s the texture of grits I hate the most so there’s solace in that. But It’s time to suck up my pride which coincidentally is defined as “sucking up some corn grits” so here goes nothing. Lets start small…

Finger food time! Polenta and tapenade bites, folks. Delicately placed on a plate to impress your friends and help you get over this polenta/corn grits tragedy.

Thank goodness I bought a jar to make homemade jam in so I can put all the homemade jam I'm always making in it.In 2013, I resolve to make use of more of my jars.

Thank goodness I bought a jar to make homemade jam in so I can put all the homemade jam I’m always making in it.
In 2013, I resolve to make use of more of my jars.

ROASTED FENNEL TAPENADE
makes 250g or so 
adapted from The Vegan Road

Ingredients:

ROASTED FENNEL

  • 180g fennel, sliced
  • 1 teaspoon olive oil
  • a dash of dried basil
  • a dash of dried rosemary
  • salt and pepper to taste

TAPENADE

  • 100g green olives, pitted (I got some garlic infused ones from the olive bar at Whole Foods. Best move of 2013.)
  • 100g kalamata olives, pitted
  • 50g whole sweet peppadew peppers
  • ½ ounce sprouted almonds
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 1 tablespoon capers
  • 1 tablespoon chopped parsley
  • 1 teaspoon lemon juice
  • ½ teaspoon dried basil
  • pepper to taste

Just smile and tapenade:

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Drizzle the olive oil on the fennel, season with the dashes and tastes. Roast for 30 minutes. Once they’re done, dice the pieces.

Toss all the ingredients in a food process. Process! Don’t over-process or it’ll become tapenade mush and no one like tapenade mush…as much as tapenade.

this is what it looks like when tapenade makes love to the camera.fucking nature, man. beautiful.

this is what it looks like when tapenade makes love to the camera.
fucking nature, man. beautiful.

ROASTED FENNEL TAPENADE and POLENTA CUCUMBER BITES
Makes a whole lot

Ingredients:

  • 1 batch of Fennel Roasted Tapenade
  • ½ cup of uncooked polenta
  • 1 ½ cups of water
  • ½ teaspoon dried basil
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 cucumber, peeled and sliced
  • some cherry tomatoes, halved
  • roasted yellow peppers, sliced
  • parsley

Bring your water to a boil in a small pot. Slowly add the polenta and the seasonings and stir, stir, stir for like 15 minutes or so. Once it’s thickened, transfer it to a cookie sheet or some dish and press it evenly into the pan. Let it sit until it sets.

I used a mini jar to cut my polenta circles but a cookie cutter would be 1000 times smarter. So do that. Make some polenta disks, put them on the cucumber slices, top with about 10g (a heaping amount, in other words) of tapenade. Add whatever additional toppings you desire. Finish with a sprig of parsley for fancy-pants-ness.

NUTRITION FACTS

nfps - bites

5 comments

  1. Funky foodie · · Reply

    As a Brit-type-person from across the pond, I’d always wondered what the HECK grits were, as here the only thing “grit” is used for is to spread on roads when it’s icy! Thanks for clearing that up!
    On a yummier note, this sounds awesome. Tapenade is my one true love. It beats salsa with a stick in the taste-department. Fennel is a funky twist, and adds spikes to said stick.. poor salsa.. you’d better run…

    1. It’s like salsa never saw it coming. That’s my favorite part of tapenade. It puts salsa in its cheap whore of a place.

  2. […] Roasted Fennel Tapenade and Polenta Cucumber Bites from Quiche a Week […]

  3. Wow. Did NOT like this recipe. My guests felt the cucumber diluted the taste of the tapenade and polenta. I even added parmesan to the polenta to “perk up” the flavor– to no avail. Dried basil was an unpleasant distraction. It all looked good on the serving tray and in the recipe here, but what a major disappointment for a lot of work and expense. One positive: I learned that I love roasted fennel even more than fresh.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

thom:::woodley

films::ads::stories::content

Brooklyn Porridge Co.

comfort food redefined

Keepin' It Kind

Kind Food. Kind World.

Rantings of an Amateur Chef

Food...cooking...eating....tools - What works, and what doesn't!

thelittleloaf

Homemade Memories

Berry

Hotness, heart, humor and too much wine

saucysmile

Where the belly rules the mind!

Baker Bettie

baking science, techniques, and recipes

Food Fitness Fresh Air

Devoted to taste, health and happiness

Chickpeas and Change

Feeding a revolution -- Formerly "farmers Market Vegan"

Cupcake Artist

One bite is never good enough

Vegan Shop-Up

an all vegan pop-up market

my little happies

here is where i explore all the little adventures and happenings in my life that make me happy.

Whisk Flip Stir

healthy vegan and vegetarian recipes

The Bootleg Cook

Recipes, restaurants and randoms from waaaaay out East

Sun In Bloom

Gluten-Free, Vegan & Raw Food Kitchen in Brooklyn & Tribeca

%d bloggers like this: