Creamsicle Protein Shake

creamsicle shake

Cute girls eat a salad or some drugs before they go out at night.

I pound a protein shake.

I’m a catch!

this is the most fruit I've eaten all year.SCURVY AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME.

this is the most fruit I’ve eaten all year.

If you’re going to drink a meal replacement shake – with or without significant alcohol consumption afterwards (but probably with) – you’re obviously going to want it to taste like a Creamsicle, right? Well have I got the meal replacement pre-night out shake for you!

Creamy, delicately orange-y, and just enough whipped coconut to make you the happiest girl on earth too! With a shake in her hand! And 5” heels on her feet! And too much eyeliner!

I’ll be going now. See you at/under the bar.

I wish this had two straws. Not because I want to share it with you. I don't. I just want it twice as fast.

I wish this had two straws. Not because I want to share it with you. I don’t.
I just want it twice as fast.

Creamsicle Protein Shake
feeds one fun lady


Coconut Whipped Cream
(this will make way too much coconut whipped cream (370g?) but I’m sure you’ll find a use for it all. May I suggest eating it?)

  • 1 can of coconut milk (Don’t use light coconut milk. We’re replacing a meal here and we are not fucking around.)
  • 4 packets of Truvia (optional, depending on how sweet your protein powder is)


  • 1 serving of your favorite vanilla protein powder (we all have one, right?)
  • 8 oz unsweetened almond coconut milk (or similar product)
  • ½ a frozen banana
  • ½ teaspoon orange extract
  • 75g coconut whipped cream

Honey, did you pack your protein bar in your purse? It’s going to be a long night:

With an electric mixer equipped with a whip attachment, whip your coconut milk on high speed until it becomes fluffy. Add the Truvia if you’re using it and keep beating at high speed a bit longer. Set aside.

In a blender, combine all your shake ingredients. Pour in a class, find a straw somewhere, and drink up.  You look pretty.

you look as pretty as I'm going to feel later tonight.

you look as pretty as I’m going to feel later tonight.

Nutrition facts based on 2 scoops of Isopure Zero Carb Creamy Vanilla Protein Powder. Use a whey-less powder for a vegan shake!

creamsicle shake


One comment

  1. This is what I should have had Friday night…

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