Mama Molly’s Cranberry Pomegranate Relish

There was a long time when I thought Mama Stamberg was one of my family members. It didn’t help that the only time I’d come across her Cranberry Relish recipe was when it appeared in a handmade cookbook made for me, typed out on Word and haphazardly cut out and glued to a page. I didn’t question the different last name that doesn’t appear anywhere on my family tree. Why would I? That lady made an incredible Cranberry Relish and I was proud to call her Someone-In-My-Family’s Mama.

finally. a whole ramekin of cranberry pomegranate relish all for me.
this has been a dream of mine since at least earlier this morning.

Then I realized I was an idiot.
Fuck you, Google. Dream murderer.

So I decided it’s time for a Mama Molly’s Relish recipe to wipe out the shame my fake family member fake caused me to fake endure. And because I live in the now and I am hip and young and fresh and wow, it’s going to include pomegranate seeds and sparkling pomegranate juice.

Don’t worry though. I am no one’s “Mama.” Unless you count being the mother of a extensive collection of yoga pants parenthood. Which I do.

sweet and tart.
just like my winning personality/candy necklace.

FoodNetwork taught me the fundamentals of cranberry relish-ing.
Serves a bunch. 8? 8 hearty servings? I honestly have no idea what size a serving of cranberry relish would be.


  • 1 cup of Kevita Sparkling Probiotic Pomegranate Juice, or regular old pomegranate juice
  • 6 packets of Truvia (you might need more if you use a plain pomegranate juice)
  • 12oz bag of fresh or frozen cranberries
  • 170g or so (one small container from Whole Foods, in other words) pomegranate arils
  • some grated ginger
  • horseradish (optional)

Mama Stamburg is no mama of mine and I’m only 100% disappointed:

In a large skillet or wok-like pan or saucepan, combine the pomegranate juice and Truvia and bring to a rolling boil. Add the cranberries and pomegranate arils and bring down to a simmer. Add the grated ginger and continue cooking until the cranberries are broken down a bit and the liquid has thickened/turned more like a sauce. Add another packet or so of sugar if you feel you need to. Remove from heat. Stir in horseradish if you want a little kick!

you could cut the sexual tension here with a turkey carving knife.


One comment

  1. I’ll have to try this.

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