Spiced Grown-Up Muffins

naked muffin: 153 calories // 8g carbs // 10g fat // 11g protein // 5g fiber // 1g sugar

For the first time in my life, I have to commute to work.

A brief walk, 35 minutes on the subway, a briefer walk. There’s a train change in there too. There’s also a lot of avoidance of sticky things on seats, floors, railings, and other people. There are so many sticky things.

But mostly I have to avoid falling asleep.

So, because I’m a grown up, I’ve started packing a snack for this morning adventure. Because when you’re eating you’re rarely asleep.

Cue Spiced Grown-Up Muffins.

If someone on a train was eyeballing me like this mature muffin is eyeballing you,
I’d slip it my number. Ahem.

Chili powder, cinnamon, chia seeds, flaxseeds, protein powder, soy flour, gluten-free – so grown up! This muffin completed an online course and is totally certified mature. With every muffin comes an honorary doctorate. Before you ate this muffin on the subway, it was reading Kafka. In German. Not on a kindle.

Man. That’s a grown-up muffin.

But the Spiced Grown-Up Muffin doesn’t stop there. It also offers only 8 grams of carbs per serving and only 3 grams of net-carbs. This is fab because it means it’s a snack that won’t cause any carb-y crash as soon as you get to work. Side-note/cool story: I just learned what net-carbs are.

FACT: Ingredient sand art tastes better than your six-year-old’s sand art.

And 11 grams of protein? That’s the sort of train munchy that keeps you full til lunch.

We won’t talk about the fat grams because they are good fat grams from soy flour, chia seeds, flaxseed, and tahini and your hair and nails will send me a charming thank you note. Swear on a Spiced Grown-Up Muffin.

A muffin and its posse.

Spiced Grown-Up Muffins
makes 12 regular sized muffins

You look more mature already, now gather:

  • 1/2 cup soy flour
  • 1/2 cup protein powder (I used vanilla because it’s what I own)
  • 1/2 cup ground flaxseed
  • 2 tablespoons chia seeds
  • 10g unsweetened cocoa powder (sorry for the unit change, but also deal with it, you’re a grown-up now)
  • 3 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 2 teaspoons chili powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • dash of paprika
  • 2 eggs
  • 5 packets of Truvia
  • 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
  • 1/2 cup tahini (you can use whatever nut butter, but nutrition info will be slightly different)

Grown ups make muffins this way:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray a muffin pan with cooking spray. Set aside.

Combine every ingredient from the soy flour to the salt in a food processor. Process. You can also just sift these things together. Whatever, combine them and stuff. Set aside, no matter what technique you use.

In a large medium bowl (technical term), whisk the eggs with the Truvia. Add the milk and the tahini and whisk til smooth. Fold the dry ingredient mixture into the wet stuff. Mix until just incorporated to keep these suckers light and airy akin to your intoxicating sophistication.

Fill the muffin tins a little more than 2/3 full. Bake for 20 minutes. Cool on your adorable window sil. Eat.

I’m sorry.
I just got lost staring into your nooks and crannies.

These muffins beat my protein bars. Hands down. And they’re actually better for you if you’re a low carb/high protein/not afraid of fat kinda girl like me. Let’s all hop on the me-train! They have a nice hearty texture from the flaxseed and chia seeds, and the cocoa, cinnamon, and chili powder combo creates enough flavor to make up for any wayward sugar desires. Top it with some cottage cheese or jam or peanut butter and you have yourself a party. I crumbled mine into my cottage-cheese-and-stuff dessert and the party was legit. My dog totally blacked out and I drew a picture of a cat on him with a Sharpie. Epic.

That’s a me holding a muffin.
I don’t own a mirror so I check out my outfits/muffins in windows. Grown up.

Note: these would be really good with some chocolate chips. Think about it. THINK ABOUT IT.



  1. These sound good, do you think I could use sweet n low or sweet leaf instead of truvia?

    1. Hey! You could use those, yep! Just make sure you familiarize yourself with how they would convert to regular sugar bc at least with trivia/stevia it’s very different.

      Also I used only a little less than the equivalent of 1/4 c of sugar in these bc I didn’t want sweetness to be a strong flavor but you may want to use more if you typically have a sweet tooth. Splenda and truvia in the sugar-like form also tend to be secretly carby…

  2. Can you make these if you’re not a grown up?

    1. Follow-up question: I own a suit, does that make me a grown up?

      1. Follow-up to my follow-up: It’s a hand-me-down.

  3. Depends.
    Is your PHD a hand-me-down too?
    Oh cool. Can you check out this mole I have? And are my occasionally headaches definitely really a brain tumor? And have you looked at my mole yet?

  4. BECAUSE your muffins look so good (AND I need a super protein-y/low carb/low cal breakfast), I made a grocery store run today that involved a lot of agonizing over things I never buy (Almond milk! Tahini! Paprika! (Shame, I know) Flaxseed! Truvia!). Does the fact that I did have chia seeds keep this from killing all my hipster cred?

    1. p.s.: I love fat. FATTYFATTYFAT. Down in my belly. Yum yum yum.

  5. These were the driest things I’ve ever eaten. I could actually feel the muffin suck all the moisture out of my mouth. Had one and had to bin the rest. Such a shame as the recipe sounded awesome. 😦

    1. Sorry to hear they didn’t come out right for you. Sometimes the flour bends I use can be fickle!

  6. marriedgirl · · Reply

    I’ve tried these a bunch of times now, and they are amazing with a tiny bit of jam or jelly on top. Perfect breakfast before a workout! Thanks for the recipe!

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