Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo


vegan alfredo

“Honey, the only thing I love more than this rich, dairy-free, creamy, comforting and delicious Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo is you, baby. Yeah I bookend sentences with adorable names for you. Get used to it,” said the completely fabricated love of my life from across the table, face illuminated by bee-friendly candles (they make a fair wage) and devotion. A Valentine’s Day that will never happen to remember!

Yep.Nothing wrong with dating this dreamboat.

Yep.
Nothing wrong with dating this dreamboat.

Well that was quite a trip down Woe is Me lane. It’s around the corner from You’ve Got to be Fucking Kidding Me road. On to the Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo!

I took these photos before work one morning.It makes a delightful and not at all bizarre breakfast that you will most certainly not be embarrassed to tell your coworkers about.

I'm trying this new thing where I make my glamour food photos more glamourous but"more glamourous" and "more gratuitous" sound too much alike.

I’m trying this new thing where I make my glamour food photos more glamourous but
“more glamourous” and “more gratuitous” sound too much alike.

You know when you stumble upon something awesome that isn’t your dog? (He should really look where he’s going.) Well this one of those times. Relish it. But don’t put relish in it. Unless you want to LIVE.

Cheesy and creamy without any milk or cream or cheese or butter. Rich and gluttonous without the whole gluttonous thing, just protein and good feelings. And pasta without the actual pasta. Fuck, I don’t need a Valentine’s Day date. I’m already seeing the creation of my dreams.

I need to work on my social skills.

Remember that time Godfather was fresh in your mind because you endured 1.5 of the movies recently?That one son, Alfredo, was a douche, is what I'm getting at.

Remember that time Godfather was fresh in your mind because you endured 1.5 of the movies recently?
That one son, Alfredo, was a douche, is what I’m getting at.

VEGAN FETTUCCINE ALFREDO
makes 9-10 ounces of sauce

Ingredients:

  • 70g onion, diced
  • 1 or 2 cloves of garlic, minced
  • a dab of oil
  • ½ cup soy milk
  • ½ cup soy creamer (you can always use just soy milk or just so creamer but I liked the combination)
  • 1 tablespoon garbanzo bean flour (white flour will do just fine)
  • 2 tablespoons margarine
  • ¾ to 1 cup nutritional yeast
  • Salt/pepper to taste
  • Dash of nutmeg
  • Miracle Noodles/Shirataki Noodles

I’m going to take myself to see the A Good Day to Die Hard on Valentine’s Day because I’m not at all awful:

Get out your wacky ass Miracle or Shirataki Noodles, drain them, and microwave them in a dish for 1 minute. This will kill that horrendous smell that might haunt your dreams otherwise. Set aside.

In a medium saucepan, heat up your dab of oil. You can also use cooking spray but the one I have smells weird. Toss in your onions and cook til translucent. Add the garlic and cook another minute or two. Pour in the soy milk and creamer and bring it to a soft boil. Add the flour and stir until it thickens. Keep stirring the whole time to prevent the sauce from burning on the sides of the pot. When it’s good and thick, bring it back down to a simmer and add the margarine. Now it’s time to add the nutritional yeast. I suggest doing it ¼ of a cup at a time so you can keep tabs on just how cheesy you want it. Stir stir stir. Go on and dash your nutmeg in. Season with salt and pepper.

Top your noodles with 2 ounces or so of sauce (it coats a long way!) depending on how much noodleage you have going on. Toss. Tickle with some red pepper flakes.

That’s right.

Tickle.

NUTRITION – sauce only
nfp

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17 comments

  1. You are completely cray. I love it. This sounds incredible.

    1. You sound like all the boys I’ve ever gone out with if a) they loved that I’m crazy and b) they thought that was incredible in a non threatening way.

  2. Whoa…Hubba Hubbaaah. This fettuccini looks ridic!
    Do you know how long it has been since I’ve slurped down on some cheesey, creamy noodles?? LONG.
    I think ill have to try this, seeing as you removed that pesky glutton n’all :).
    Great recipe.
    Xxx

    1. Dude, I know, right? I straight up avoid noodles like they killed my parents in some weird Batman-y way. Basically, I rue them. Rue them so hard.

      I think I’m using the word “rue” wrong.

  3. yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum. that is all.

    1. I said the same thing to my dog whilst eating this. He was unfazed.

  4. Oh my….this looks amazing. I’m literally calculating how long it would take me to walk to the store in the rain to get Shirataki noodles to make this.
    Yum yum yum yum yum.

  5. [...] Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo from Quiche a Week [...]

  6. HISTORY OF ALFREDO DI LELIO CREATOR OF “FETTUCCINE ALL’ALFREDO”, NOW SERVED BY GRANDCHILDREN, ALFREDO E ISA DI LELIO, AT THE RESTAURANT “IL VERO ALFREDO” IN ROME, PIAZZA AUGUSTO IMPERATORE 30

    With reference of your article we have the pleasure to tell you the history of our grandfather Alfredo Di Lelio, who is the creator of “fettuccine all’Alfredo” in 1908 in restaurant run by his mother Angelina in Rome, Piazza Rosa (Piazza disappeared in 1910 following the construction of the Galleria Colonna / Sordi).
    Alfredo di Lelio opened the restaurant “Alfredo” in 1914 in a street in central Rome, after leaving the restaurant of his mother Angelina. In this local spread the fame, first to Rome and then in the world, of “fettuccine all’Alfredo”.
    In 1943, during the war, Di Lelio sold the restaurant to others outside his family.
    In 1950 Alfredo Di Lelio decided to reopen with his son Armando his restaurant in Piazza Augusto Imperatore n.30 “Il Vero Alfredo” (“Alfredo di Roma”), which is now managed by his nephews Alfredo and Ines, with the famous “gold cutlery”” (fork and spoon gold) donated in 1927 by two well-known American actors Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks (in gratitude for the hospitality).
    See also the site of “Il Vero Alfredo” http://www.alfredo-roma.it/.
    We must clarify that other restaurants “Alfredo” in Rome do not belong to the family tradition of “Il Vero Alfredo” in Rome.
    We inform that the restaurant “Il Vero Alfredo” is in the registry of “Historic Shops of Excellence” of the City of Rome Capitale.
    Best regards Alfredo e Ines Di Lelio

  7. I’m not really into soy. Do you think I could sub in almond milk, rice milk, or anything of that nature?

  8. Found this recipe through Pinterest while looking for shiratatki recipes and I swear I started drooling…. Can’t wait to try this and now I love your blog too! Thank You!!!

  9. […] Fettuccine Alfredo (http://quicheaweek.wordpress.com) Chicken & Broccoli with Homemade Garlic Alfredo Sauce […]

  10. WriterGirl · · Reply

    My husband was happy with this meal and felt like it tasted like the real thing. I had almond milk and soy creamer in the fridge. I could not locate the nutmeg, but it was still good.

  11. WriterGirl · · Reply

    Is that crushed pepper in the pic?

    1. Crushed red pepper flakes, indeed! Like people in Portland, OR like to put birds on everything, I like to put crushed red pepper flakes on everything.

  12. […] Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo – If you’ve gone vegetarian but have had trouble moving to veganism, this recipe might help you along the way. It serves up the classic fettuccine alfredo that is on most every menu in Italian restaurants, and does it without using any animal byproducts. That means even though it’s creamy there won’t be any cream or butter so you don’t have to feel guilty. You can use Earth Balance to replace the margarine and keep it strictly vegan. […]

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