Homemade Luna Bars (and balls) – feeding an addiction.


homemade luna bars

Is this a safe place? Can we indulge in some Real Talk™? Is that a trademark symbol? Trademarked things promote honesty, or so I’m making up right this second. So I’m going to be real. Excuse me. Real™.

I have a 2 Luna Bar a day problem.

click here to skip my emotional turmoil and function like a real adult right to the recipe, you monster…

you can't call someone an "addict" without nearly calling them "a dick" first.

you can’t call someone an “addict” without nearly calling them “a dick” first.

This is becoming a problem for a variety of reasons. But also just one reason. Luna Bars are expensive. Especially when you eat 2 a day. Every day. Except for those days when you eat 3. We don’t talk about those days.

the textural similarity between mine and the real thing is pretty awesome.there is nothing humorous here. unless you find my rampant success in texture funny. Jerk.

the textural similarity between mine and the real thing is pretty awesome.
there is nothing humorous here.
unless you find my rampant success in texture funny. Jerk.

It’s not really that the Luna Bars themselves are that expensive, actually. They’re typically $1 each. It’s the lifestyle that buying so many all the time promotes. To keep up with my habit, I stop at either Whole Foods or the Organic Grocery Store that’s open until 1am by my apartment (BROOKLYN. AMIRIGHT?) every other day. And when I stop at either Whole Foods or the Organic Grocery Store that’s open until 1am by my apartment, I buy no less than 1 million other things that I probably don’t need. Except for that peanut butter with the bananas and raisins in it that cost $10. I needed that. Wait

Yep. That’s what did it. I bought a $10 jar of peanut butter solely because the opportunity presented itself while I was shopping for more Luna Bars. I caught myself eyeing a different $18 jar of PB yesterday before I snapped out of it. (Is the real problem here the peanut butter industry?!? The fuck guys? $18??) It’s like I go temporarily insane. Every other day. Why do I have two boxes of Vital Wheat Gluten? Two different types of Coconut Butter? 4 lbs of Ground Flaxseed? Why?!? Luuuunnnnaaaaaa baaaaaaars!

You ever just want to see how many 10g homemade Luna bar balls you can fit into your mouth at once?I KNOW ME NEITHER, RIGHT?!

You ever just want to see how many 10g homemade Luna bar balls you can fit into your mouth at once?
I KNOW ME NEITHER, RIGHT?!

TL;DR: I’m going to make my own take on Luna Bars. I will still eat all the Luna Bars ever. Just maybe less frequently. Baby steps. Homemade Luna Bar steps.

HOMEMADE LUNA BARS
to satisfy your jonesin, this makes:
four 45g bars
six 30g bars
eighteen 10g balls

Ingredients:

  • 1 ½ cups brown rice crispies*
  • 1 serving protein powder of your choice (Isopure Zero Carb Vanilla, DUHZ, but of course use whey-less powder for a vegan bar)
  • 2 tablespoons powdered peanut butter
  • 2 tablespoons brown rice sugar
  • 1 tablespoon coconut butter
  • 2 pitted dates, microwaved for about 30-45 secs with 2 tablespoons water

Optional Toppings:

  • 15g extra dark chocolate chips (double this if you’re making the balls)
  • a splash of almond milk
  • 4 tablespoons powdered peanut butter + 2 tablespoons water
  • shredded coconut
  • shredded anything
  • ground nuts or whatever

*no matter how desperately I’m down and out, I will never, ever buy bottom-shelf-bagged-cereal. I wanted to. I couldn’t. Damn this foolish boxed-cereal pride!

What if I just take a taste of a Luna Bar? What about 12 of them? Just to see how it feels?

Put the brown rice crispies in a medium bowl. Set aside.

Combine the powders first in a food processor and process a bit to mix it all about. Now add everything else… Warning: this gets incredible sticky. Your food processor, much like mine, may rumble. Everything’s gonna be aiiight though. I swear. Scoop this mixture into the bowl of crispies and mix it all about. If you can’t handle the stickiness (I couldn’t), grab some wax paper and use it as a barrier between you and the sticky glob of yum as you mash it all together.

On a clean bit of wax paper, weigh out the portions you want to use (4 or 6 bars or 18 balls). Using a sheet of wax paper, shape the portions into either bars or balls. Do not do this with bare hands. If you use bare hands when you should be using wax paper, you’re gonna have a bad time. Wrap up the shapes in their individual wax paper sheet and set in the freezer for like 20 minutes.

In a small bowl, microwave the chocolate chips with a splash of almond milk in 15 second intervals until it’s all smooth. Spread the chocolate on the bars or dip the balls halfway. Sprinkle with coconut or chia seeds or whatever the hell you want if you want. Or spread the powdered-made-liquided peanut butter on the bars. Then you could even top that with chocolate. I DON’T KNOW. BE AN ADULT.

Nutrition Facts
*I left off the shredded coconut because it’s a ridiculously little amount of shredded coconut.
homemade luna bars

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10 comments

  1. here’s a question: why aren’t you making your own peanut butter??!

    1. I like that this us a totally plausible suggestion. I honestly don’t like fresh ground pb…I need just a tiny bit if salt or sugar or whatever is I need. I once had fresh ground almond butter and thought I was dying. I wasn’t. I was just moderately grossed out.

      It’s maybe one of the few food related things I can’t train my mind to enjoy.

  2. Okay, I just fell apon your delight of a blog( IIIIKnooow, where have I been??) You.are.Hilaaaaare & I basically love. That is all.

    Oh! Also these Luna bars n’ balls look awesome, I have to make!
    I’ve never had a Luna …I live in Scotland & you can’t get them( or coconut butter, or Pb with raisins & nanners in it…) here. What kind of suck a b**ls country IS this, geez.
    So these homemade ones will be mandatory for me to try( maybe with coconut oil/nut butter instead of coconut butter , thoughts?). I mean , how else am I going to find out how many I can get in mouth???
    Xxx

    1. These Kinds of comments make me so happy. Like I’m crazy drunk but this legit makes me drunker. On happiness.

      Please let me know how it goes with adjustments! Def try coconut oil (I don’t know the difference between that and coconut butter? Price? Pretentiousness?) and real pb instead of powdered. Report back!

  3. I’m glad to have this recipe. I’m also addicted to Luna bars and I hope this homemade one satisfies my cravings instead. : ) Thanks!

  4. JP Fernandez · · Reply

    omg, join the park slope food coop already

    1. I know!!! I keep meaning to and then I keep forgetting and then I forget that I even meant to. But I should. Because duh.

  5. Lovin’ the sound of these. Living in Australia I’ve never had a Luna Bar (never even heard of them prior to about a year ago) so I’m particularly intrigued.
    Please do tell, what is powdered peanut butter?
    Cheers. :)

    1. Powdered peanut butter is a magical thing. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Also it’s way lower cal, still has good protein, and one time a cute Whole Foods employee tried to help me locate it. It’s in the peanut butter aisle. It is also above my head.

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