Have you ever thought about what America would taste like if you cut it up into 6 equal slices?
Everyday? You think about that everyday? Are we sharing a brain? Let’s meet and love each other forever.
But before we do all that (stay patient, my sweet dove), let’s actually get around to defining what America tastes like. We’ll start with the midwest because okay.

When you grow up, you too can own exactly two knives. One neon yellow and one neon green. Perfect for cutting quiche.
And very little else.
Wisconsin proudly gives us neon orange cheese with a bite that we go so far as to call “sharp.” As in “that’s a sharp dressed cheese.” I think I’m doing that right.
And I’m pretty sure if you took a bite out of Texas, you’d get a mouthful of barbecue sauce. And maybe if you were in Austin, that BBQ sauce would be slathered on some seitan too. (Oh man. That Austin. So weird. Amiright?)
I mean, we have a state that’s known for potatoes. Its claim to fame is potatoes. And when it comes to the potato’s cuter, more charming sister, the sweet potato, we like to mash them, slather them in syrup, put them in pies, make them into fries and chips. But we also put marshmallows on them. That’s so American it brings a tear to my eyes.
And what’s a home cooked everywhere-in-America meal without a side of broccoli or, in simpler states, little trees?
Also, spinach.
So let’s toss all this American Splendor in one pie pan and remind ourselves that these colors don’t run, this is the land of the free, and in some cities in this America the beautiful you can get a diet orange soda at 3am. Now take your hat off and put your hand on your heart and show some respect.
Cheddar, Sweet Potato, Broccoli, Spinach, and BBQ Seitan Quiche
aka
America, the Quiche.
serves 6 proud Amur’cans
Set these aside your flag:
- 1 medium sweet potato (about 230ish grams worth), peeled and diced
- 100g broccoli florets
- dash of onion powder
- dash of garlic powder
- dash of salt and pepper
- 140g spinach
- 8oz seitan strips
- 2 tablespoons BBQ sauce (Stubb’s Original anyone?)
- 3oz shredded reduced fat sharp cheddar cheese, divided
- 1 tablespoon nutritional yeast
- 3 large brown eggs
- 3 egg whites
- 1/2 cup almond milk
- 1/4 cup 1% or 2% cottage cheese

If you squint, you can pretend to see a map of the world.
And your misunderstanding of basic geography.
Whenever you need a break from singing our national anthem, do these things:
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
Arrange your broccoli and sweet potato in a baking dish and spray with some cooking spray. Toss with your dashes of various things. Bake for 35 minutes.
While that’s going on, set up your spinach in a microwavable bowl, cover with some plastic wrap with a little opening for ventilation and steam in your microwave for 2 minutes. Take your seitan and toss it in a medium bowl with the barbecue sauce. Add the spinach to the seitan. Once your veggies are done baking, add them to the spinach and seitan. Set aside.
Turn your oven down to 375 degrees and spray a 10″ pie pan with cooking spray.
In a large bowl, whisk your eggs, egg whites, and milk. Add the cottage cheese, half the shredded cheese and the nutritional yeast. Whisk away. Add some pepper for good measure.
Arrange your seitan/spinach/sweet potato/broccoli/bbq sauce mixture in the prepared pie pan. Pour the milk/egg/cheese mixture on top of it. Top with the remaining shredded cheese. Bake for 50 minutes. Get choked up at the beauty of it all. Take your hand off your heart. Maybe.












What kind of moron would call broccoli “little trees?”
Only the morons from canton, Ohio, clearly.
Hi Molly!
This quiche looks amazing, can’t go wrong with cheese, potatoes, and broccoli! Your food blog and photography is really impressive! If you’re interested, we would like to send you an invitation to join our new invite-only food community that we have just launched.
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You are FUNNY! I love your writing style! And now, I’m off to make an Uh-murican quiche!